About Son of Man

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

"She was a standard product"


I have been reading a book called The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh (its a guy btw). Today I found a passage that describes my exact feelings toward my beloved York University and the females therein. My good friend at Mac has expressed similar sentiments. This is my adaptation of Evelyn's passage. The following scene (could have) happened in the line up for timmy's (to pick one of the many watering holes) in central square @ YorkU.

She left the room [and I] at once forgot everything about her. [I] had seen her before everywhere. [YorkU] mothers presumably knew their daughters apart, as the Chinese were said subtly to distinguish one from another of their seemingly uniform race, but to [my eyes], [York chicks] are one with all their sisters of the air-liners and reception-desks. She was the standard product. A man could leave such a girl in a [starbucks in T.O.], fly three thousand miles and find her again in the cigar stall at San Fransisco (or in my case, mac, or rye high, or laurier), just as he would find his favourite comic strip in the local paper; she would croon the same words to him in moments of endearment and express the same views and preferences in moments of social discourse.

******

Irrefutable Laws of (fashion) Conduct @ YorkU

1. There is no such thing as evening wear.

2. The only acceptable hair colours are blonde with black chunking or black with blonde chunking or any other combo of said colours.

3. Oversized sunglasses cover a multitude of sins.

4. Two bags must be carried at all times! One must be an Invicta backpack of the colour of your choice. The other should be either a Louis Vuitton or Guess purse.

5. INTERACT ONLY BY CELL PHONE.

6. Never be seen alone.

7. Your I-Pod is your best friend. Allow the little white earbuds to hang from your Louis Vuitton.

8. Keep em' guessing. As alluded to in Rule # 1, glitter, hoop earrings, rhinestones, sequins, tiaras, and boas are always fair game. Also, mix "I just got out of bed" hair and clothing styles with full makeup. ei. grey track pants tucked into uggs (see rule # 9).

9. Boots are a must. Pants go in the boots, NEVER over the boots. Uggs are for all seasons. The salt on the sidewalks is a figment of your imagination. All colours are acceptable whether it be olive, sunset, salmon, or orchid, but beige is the only colour required to give adequate clone status.

10. Do not go to class. Rather, stand aimlessly in the middle of the walkway at York Lanes or right in front of the Wendy's at the SC (making it as unclear as possible whether or not you are actually in line for Wendy's).

******

I was thanking God again today for bringing some salt and light (preservation, redemtion) to our university via the ladies of Campus for Christ. Every last girl involved in this movement is at the same time, lovely, modest, and godly in a school where all that matters is adornment by way of "braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire" (1 Tim 2:9b). I am not sure if most women know the extent of their (silent) ministry to the men in the body of Christ. To be adorned respectably (Paul didn't say homely, as far as my exegesis goes) with modesty and self-control is to be drastically counter-cultural (the above rules are free of hyperbole). I don't have much more to say.

Fight the good fight.

Serve your King.

11 Comments:

Blogger Caleb said...

A resounding AMEN.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Caleb said...

P.S The picture of the standard "wookie slipper" is a nice touch on this post. I think those things were old Star Wars props for wookie feet. George Lucas really is a master marketer!

7:39 PM  
Blogger Lydia said...

hahaha that made me laugh and the part after that was quite lovely. even if i'm not a york C4c girl.

what a sweetheart you are!

you are a cool cat.

8:15 PM  
Blogger shellieos said...

josh i'm surprised you noticed these fashion rules. i'm impressed! and the last part was very sweet. i concur w/ lydia. i too have a beef with those aviator sunglasses and ug boots, although i do carry a purse around so i don't have to dig around in my backpack..................

6:35 AM  
Blogger Rogers Meredith said...

HA HA HA
You are funny!
Well Done!

8:31 AM  
Blogger kerux said...

Quick.

Go off on a mission trip before some network whiz kid finds you and scoops you up to write for his lame television sit-coms. (Which would no longer be lame with you writing!)

And Caleb - wookie slippers! Very nice!!!

10:47 AM  
Blogger pri said...

haha, loved the post.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Joshua Robinson,you make me smile.

.thanks for that.

1:49 PM  
Blogger JLF said...

aww... Josh, I think you're the sweetest too...

12:24 PM  
Blogger Son of Man said...

I think jlf81 sees right through me...

6:50 PM  
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