'He must be a Christian'

A few years ago my good buddy Julian married this lovely girl from St. Catherines named Stacey. They're nice. Tonight I was helping them move a couch (I've moved more stuff for this guy...). Not only is Stacey a great girl, but she is also a deep well from which great quote-book-worthy statements can always be drawn. She seemed in rare form tonight as we cruised down Jane Street in Cleezer. Near Eglinton, she mentioned this guy she kept noticing on the the GO on her way to work.

He was a nice looking guy. He was youngish, like, around my age, and he had a wedding ring on so I thought he must be a Christian. The next week I noticed he was reading a book about controlling lust and then I was sure he was a Christian. The funny thing was, I was reading Feminine Appeal and was at the chapter on Lust. I could tell he was really trying to keep me from seeing the title of the book.

We kept talking about different things. As usual, the convo got around to Grace Fellowship Church. We were discussing a couple of people who had come once but whom we hadn't seen since.

I just want everybody to come to our Church. If someone comes once and doesn't come again they must be in sin.

Later, as we attempted to bring the ancient oversized couch down Lynn's narrow junction apartment stairway, we met this smelly, sorta drunk, guy who wanted to help. A mangled wall, a dented ceiling, a shattered light fixture, a destroyed banister, and a couple cursing fits later, the couch was at the Dundas Street curb. I chugged the rest of my Dr. Pepper and we left.